Answering the Royalists ~ Part Duh!

Before the Tea Party, before Ford Nation, there was the Monarchist League, a collection of sad authoritarian fetishists who wanted to exterminate any further efforts to render Canada free from the British Crown. They were as rabid, vicious, pernicious and determined as the Ayn Rand followers of today that have crystallized into the Tea Party of the United States, and the Ford Nation of Toronto. Their degenerate influence still lingers, and have since the 1970’s gained prominence and control in our nation’s schools, governments and civil services, spreading their anti-democratic slobber far and wide across Upper North America.

What is disappointing is the incredible lack of strong Canadian republican voices in the political and information arena who are loud and proud about their ideas and willing to fight for them. The only republicans who have managed to say anything about the monarchy or monarchists are insufferable modest home rule advocates who are only interested in debate and not real change, and treat monarchy the same way some folks treat evolution: as a controversy. First of all, there’s no controversy. Monarchy doesn’t represent the people. A republic with an elected head of state and legislature does. A country with a “constitutional monarchy” is only half-democratic. Representatives are supposed to get the consent of someone they supposedly represent in order to represent them. When it comes to representing a body of people, they choose or “elect” that representative. How in the holy fuck royalists consider any form of royalty to represent the people should be beyond the reasonable thinking of any decent human being on the face of the earth. Sometimes it takes a revolution to initiate real change and a republican revolution of independence must be initiated. Monarchy is not democratic, and must be totally destroyed.

So I’ve read a rather disgusting article about the monarchy, called The Monarchy Debate Is Missing A Piece Of The Puzzle, in the Huffington Post by a South African emigre named Johanu Botha. And by disgusting I mean it’s centrist moderate monarchist garbage. It claims that the debate is missing something, and that something turns out to be one of the stupidest questions imaginable.

During a Montreal citizenship ceremony in the autumn of 2011, an American friend of mine surreptitiously snuck up the aisle to snap pictures as — hand over heart — I became a citizen of the country I had lived in since 2002. A bright history major, he had no problem paying tribute to a ritual not his own. Until, that is, it was time to pledge allegiance to the Queen, Canada’s constitutional monarch and head of state.

It begins with an autobiographical story, the kind Obama would use in his speeches to galvanize the gullible before screwing them with a big thick knife in the ass because he’s just so nice to the GOP, in order to have the audience gain some emotional attachment to what he’s about to say.

My American friend loved the themes of multiculturalism, immigrant success stories, and general tolerance not always found so generously in his own country. Yet swearing loyalty to an unelected elderly lady was too much for even his open mind. And until a year before my ceremony, it might’ve been too much for me as well.

So he’s one of those folks who thinks that an “open mind” means to accept whatever one’s told without that important filter of rational thought, reason, or logic. To have an open mind, to this guy, is to accept “knowledge” in any form, however irrational, ignorant, misleading or false, without questioning.

I grew up a very Afrikaans kid in a South African town that was very Afrikaans. This meant being raised on the horrors of British dominance over Afrikaners, with Boer War concentration camps described in vivid detail (the horrors of Afrikaner dominance over Africans were conveniently glossed over). Despite the more moderate and politically tentative English friends at school, my young perspective on the British Crown was remarkably similar to that still etched into the American political consciousness — the Crown was something to be constantly rejected and thrown off in order to maintain a sense of freedom.

Because the idea that you can’t either choose your leaders or become chosen as leader is something to embrace and only Americans are in favour of choosing your government. And apparently Boethe seems to ignore the fact that Aparteid had existed. His town was very Afrikaans because blacks and “coloureds” wouldn’t be allowed to live in their town. The black people had their place, coloureds had their place, and all whites had their place, which were put on top, while the rest were left the crumbs.

What happened to my perspective in Canada after my family moved here was something that has happened in this country since the Fathers of Confederation themselves came to it as a mere colony: I moved from a republic to a monarchy and found more real freedom in the latter. In the early 19th century Irish nationalist Thomas D’arcy McGee fled his homeland to trumpet expansive republicanism in the young United States. Indeed, this founder to be of Canadian confederation declared that “either by purchase, conquest, or stipulation, Canada must be yielded by Great Britain to this Republic [the United States].”

Apparently, there’s no real explanation as to how exactly there was real freedom in the latter. He just suddenly cuts to a rambling piece about McGee. Did he immigrate to Canada during or after Apartied? Is putting Afrikaaners in concentration camps the only thing that made him hate the British? Where are the black people, Botha? They’re not mythical creatures.

The best kind of political fervour, however, requires tangible improvement in peoples’ lives, and he therefore quickly grew disheartened by Boston and New York. Richard Gwyn writes that:

“McGee grew restive in [the United States]. Its practice of slavery disgusted him, as did, more personally, the anti-Irish bigotry of the anti-immigrant Know Nothing movement. McGee came north to Montreal in 1857 and to his astonishment found there, after all his years fighting the English, ‘far more liberty and tolerance enjoyed by those in Canada than in the U.S.’”

Then, four years later, the American Civil War broke out, which rightfully proved that sometimes a little bloodshed is necessary for radical change. In the end, slavery was abolished and the United States stood triumphant in the end reunified and remained as a republic. Jim Crow laws indeed had replaced the slave laws, but it took dedicated people, men and women, of all colours who even lost their lives, to abolish those, and ensure that the Bill of Rights applied equally to everyone at every single corner of the United States. Meanwhile, we didn’t officially have a Bill of Rights until the 1950’s, and even still there are elements of the Charter of Rights that are questionable, such as the Not Withstanding Clause. So there is a difference between cultural attitudes and government policy.

Similarly, I found in 21st century Canada a political arrangement with an incredible capacity to accommodate differences. It paradoxically accepted separatist elected representatives in the national House of Commons, its immigration policy actively supported the identity with which immigrants arrived, its social policies were decidedly more progressive than its freedom-trumpeting southern neighbour, and its relationship with First Nations — while fraught with elements of dysfunction — had a history of treaty negotiations that provided glimmers of hope for the future.

Yet the Crown itself had no influence at all considering any these developments. It’s a blind rubber-stamping puppet of Parliament, regardless of whatever party was in power. Botha is blind to the fact that a recent bill restricting voting was passed and, without any input by our unelected absentee head of state, will become law next month. Treaty negotiations have also been fraught with corruption, and their ratification have been fraught with voting irregularities.

What role, if any, does the monarchy play in all of this? First, a head of state not directly elected by ‘the people’ tends to avoid the sort of populist impulses that can so heavily flirt with xenophobic nationalism. Second, a non-partisan head of state embodies the hopes, dreams, and security of person for every citizen, and is not just representative of the group that votes for him or her (a Presidential Office may in the abstract represent all, but it is always occupied by a partisan politician).

The first “role” that Botha spews out may not spell it out, but he does tease Godwin’s law, this myth that Adolf Hitler, who hated democracy and was supported by the German monarchists, was elected. Let’s be clear: Hitler was never elected (and no royalist ever specifies exactly what was he supposedly elected to) but was appointed Chancellor of Germany thanks to an aging yet firm monarchist named Hindenburg and another monarchist named von Papen in an attempt to control someone who would inevitably become the Teutonic reincarnation of Pharaoh. In other words, the monarchists in Germany helped summon the Third Reich, just as the monarchists in Italy backed Mussolini. Also, Botha is echoing an age-old anti-democratic mantra, that the people are too stupid to govern themselves, that they’re incredibly impulsive. This would be true … under a direct democracy, where people themselves govern directly rather than representatives that they elect to govern for them, to make decisions for them provided that the rights of the individual is protected by law. Also, a democracy, especially a representative one, cannot function without a sound education system that would be mandatory for all citizens to enrol. Freedom isn’t free, especially of obligations are to be properly and soundly educated. People are unwilling to educate themselves, and those who try without proper guidance often become conspiracy theorists or conservatives or worse, which is why the state should be obligated to educate the people. Further, populist impulses don’t flirt with xenophobic nationalism (unless your culture is xenophobic and racially “aware”), and Botha never explains how it does. In fact, populist impulses leans against xenophobic nationalism and toward economic and social needs. People want good jobs, good wages, time with their family, and to have their lives, liberty and property protected by good laws. While the qualifications for President can be changed for the better, the qualifications for monarchy can’t. Nevermind this having to do with the sex of the first-born. Changing that doesn’t make monarchy any better. It’s a way to ensure only whites are heads of state, regardless of who their puppet is in Canada, such as Michelle Jean.

Third, the steady distancing between the monarch and policy-making (versus revolution) has produced a political culture quite comfortable using the tools of government should it yield better policy outcomes. The United States, in contrast, has a curiously adversarial relationship with its democratic government, as if it constantly needs to be fought rather than instrumentalized. This has led to some of the most ineffective policies — see health care and gun control — among developed countries, and — ironically — it hasn’t led to a lean, efficient bureaucracy.

People are going to disagree with each other all the time. There will always be partisanship about one idea or another. Economics, religion, politics, philosophy—like an asshole, everyone has an opinion about them. People are always going to fight each other one way or another. The reason that we have what remains of our healthcare system and effective gun control, while the Americans don’t, is not because of monarchy, but because of ordinary citizens from all walks of life were fighting tooth and nail to get those things established in Canada. The monarch had no part in it whatsoever. In fact, by doing nothing and saying nothing, she’s condoning it, and considering the elitist and reactionary and imperialistic nature of monarchs, she probably would’ve preferred the total opposite, to ensure her peasant subjects paid for their own healthcare and bought their own guns lest they were used to oppose her royal police or soldiers. She probably would’ve preferred if there were no politicians to represent any of the ignorant, unwashed peasantry, or wouldn’t have minded limiting the vote to the highborn few. This demonstrated by her doing nothing.

And fourth, the relationship between First Nations and the Crown has often been healthier than that between First Nations and the Canadian state. Indeed, when I contacted a PhD student studying Canadian-Indigenous relations to get his thoughts on this blog he noted that one of the concerns of a Canadian republic is that it will handle treaties in the historical manner of the federal government and not the Crown, the latter being perceived as more just.

Yet Botha never provides examples or explains how the latter is perceived as “more just.” He ignores the fact that the actions of the Canadian Government are done not in the name of the Canadian state but in the name of the Canadian Crown. Furthermore, let’s explain something here: the British monarch represents imperialism, of colonialism. The natives in this pretend country have been colonized, and have been subjected to the brunt of imperialism. The treaties not only have done little to their benefit, but have also prevented us from moving forward as a country.

The question Canadians should ask as they continue to debate the monarchy in this country is: how to square the institutional benefits of a non-partisan Head of State with the monarchy’s obvious democratic deficit? The discourse often focuses on the value of taxpayer’s money versus the historical importance of the Queen or old school affection for the individual royal personalities versus grassroots democrats. While these are important debates to have, the institutional contribution of non-partisan governmental machinery should be carefully assessed when contemplating the monarchy’s abolishment.

You can’t fit a square peg in a round hole because monarchy isn’t democratic. To try to make the monarchy democratic would be to try and teach both creationism and evolution in a fucking science class! “Intelligent design” or whatever its name is the wolf of creationism disguised as science. If we want real democracy, sever the ties to the British Crown, and absolve ourselves of all and any allegiances to it, and stamp out all other versions of it at the lower levels of government. The discourse that places the value of taxpayer’s money over democracy has the echoes of Ayn Rand, who hated democracy simply because of a childhood trauma she suffered in Russia when she saw mobs running rampant through the streets when it transitioned from one form of dictatorship to another. These sort of people place more value on money, on their on wallets, than in any form of human dignity or public service. And on this whole idea that the head of state should be non-partisan couldn’t be any more stupid. Non-partisanship should only be reserved for the courts. The monarchy isn’t non-partisan because that it allows only family members to inherit the crown, and denies Canadian citizens to either access it or have a say in who should be head of state. As the office of President is owned by the people where anyone can access it, the “office” of monarch isn’t an office at all but private property that is owned by one person and their family, no matter how many times royalists attempt to rehash or rebrand it or “reinvent it.” The head of state isn’t a supreme court justice and doesn’t preside over any court proceedings. Nor should it. Monarchy also doesn’t embody the hopes and dreams of every citizen because it doesn’t allow citizens to become head of state, nor should even an elected head of state embody the hopes and dreams of everyone considering that no one would elect any fascist, racist, intellectually infirm or psychologically unstable person to office considering the hopes and dreams of such deviants are the stuff of nightmares.

Rob Ford & The Case for Impeachment

Rob Ford, along with London mayor Joe Fontana, is the reason why we need impeachment across the land. To do nothing but simply wait and let the public decide in the next election, despite his criminal activity, his compulsive lying, and his flimsy attempts to cover-up the existence of the notorious crack video that lead to the arrest of his driver, is a surrender to mob rule. Of course, it’s less mob rule and more of a hijacking of our democracy by our own version of the Tea Party. So in essence, City Council has surrendered to the rule of a few, an oligarchy, composed of the worst and most ignorant of human beings this city has living within. This City Council has failed to go far enough.

Now some naysayers will say that it’s against the law to remove the mayor. First of all, what law? Where? Federal law? Provincial law? No such law has ever been cited even once by any government official or the press. And no law exists that prevents City Council from doing so exists anyways. Just as there was no law preventing City Council from removing the mayor’s powers, there is no law preventing City Council from removing the incumbent, and Rob Ford, forever the corrupt and pathologically lying frat boy people seem to enjoy at the expense of others, is a great reason why we there should be no such law preventing City Council from removing them. People like Ford, Fontana and Chris Christie are examples of why we need impeachment, especially when we have a republic in the hopefully near future. I’ve talked with few people (online), demanding what law is there that prevents City Council from doing so, and I’d get no answer, or I’d get some random law that they never explain how it’s related to the removal of the incumbent, or why or where in that law does it say or why the media or City Council has referred to this law as being the law that prevents them, or they don’t know. Typically Canadian to not know the laws you live under.

Another stupid excuse floating around is that it’s no big deal that Rob Ford smoked crack. Why? Why is it not a big deal that the mayor drinks and does drugs while on duty, but a huge deal for some people who are poor or non-white to have their lives destroyed and thrown away when they’re caught? When you’re caught smoking crack or doing any drugs while on the job, you get fired. While I do favour marijuana legalization, this has to do with power, and how we need intelligent, ethically sound, reasonable and sober people to run the city, or the province, or even the “country”. Some people are advocating for a figurehead, and I don’t want that. Malarkists, perpetually repugnant as Ford himself, are gloating at this, saying “See? Would you want Rob Ford to be president? City council can’t even remove him from office.” No. I wouldn’t, nor any decent human being in this country who are often outnumbered by the ignorant, the lazy and the insane that imagine that the media, forever left-wing in the minds of theirs despite being as conservative as they can legally get, has somehow fabricated this, that the “lamestream media” is making stuff up, and that Ford only tells the truth simply because he’s the mayor. Idiots. No. Fuck no. That’s why there’s two things necessary for an elected executive: election and impeachment.

Remember earlier how the Royalists, in their list of excuses for defending the monarchy, whined and complained about how we’d have to remove politicians from office through impeachment. Why is it a bad idea? Look at Ford! You think we shouldn’t remove the corrupt and criminal from power, elected or not? That we should allow them to commit crimes while in office with impunity and behave as they see fit, and we only need to wait til the next election? Or just as bad, just leave him as a figurehead, and do absolutely nothing except take our money to do nothing. Want a symbol? Look at our flag, our CN Tower. Why a person, you fucking idiot? If you’re not going to do anything except mooch off our tax dollars, then get the fuck out and never serve again. Our monarch, for example, is not only an unelected absentee head of state who rules for life, is at best utterly useless and at worst a tyrant, and is succeeded by blood regardless of popular opinion, but also does absolutely nothing, and benefits no one but herself who rakes in millions of our money every year despite allegedly having no power. You know what you call someone who has a government job who does nothing but reaps in a salary with benefits? Government waste. Get Ford out, City Council. Stop dithering, and stop wasting our money by keeping Ford as a figurehead. It’s also time we need to stop this idea of honour, where the incumbent has only the option to leave office.

The Republican Party ≠ Republican

Like any decent human being, I completely despise conservatives and royalists. I also despise the GOP. So much so, that I refuse to call them by their formal name. Why so? Because they are in no way, shape or form, republican in the true sense. The concept of a republic, in fact, is actually a very liberal, very leftist concept of government, being that the executive and legislative branches are vested in the control and consent of the citizens. Because people in the English-speaking realms of the North American continent, who are easily confused thanks to their lack of attention span, memory and education, literally believe that the very word “republican” implies or means that you’re a member of the GOP or its mindset. Nevermind if you’re an American. I’m talking about Canadians who have been saturated with American TV, and who are either fellow haters of the GOP and conservatives, or who are conservatives that can’t seem to grasp that the GOP is republican in name only. Some Canadians are so stupid they confuse it with the far right, and have caused many Canadian leftists to take pride in what is essentially an non-egalitarian and non-democratic institution, the monarchy, as somehow the sole protector of our liberties . . . rather than something better, like the law. But alas, the republican left has been silenced by patriotic Canadians who are either too sad or too stupid to know the damn difference between republican and royalist. The GOP is in fact royalist, elitist, classist, and anything that hinders the liberty equality of all; it just uses liberal, leftist rhetoric to confuse people. That’s why I never use the word “Republican” when I speak of the GOP, and republicans of all political stripes in Canada (yes, even a small minority of conservatives despise monarchy as much as I do, though unlike myself, they see monarchy as an utter failure to stop the tides of democracy) should make it clear with their readers, listeners, and viewers.

I’m so sick of repeating myself over and over. After all, you have this blog to sift through to figure out where I stand when it comes to that most evil of institutions, with corporations, mob rule, and theocracies or the influence of religion in politics almost immediately before it. In a way I am damnwell elitist: I want the best and brightest, but who come from all walks of life, to govern, not just anyone. I mean, look at what happened with George Bush II when he continued the Bush dynasty. The more a person is intelligent yet hesitant or resistant to hold office, the more worthy they are to hold office, for they would be the most cautious to use any power given to them.

Games Lefties Play

Despite the title of this post, let’s get one thing straight: I’m of the left. I am a leftist. I am of the far-left. I am left wing. I am also democratic, which just so happens to be a left-wing idea. I am not a communist or anarchist, nor do I support the systems of anarchy or communism. I believe that government is necessary and fundamental to keep people from hurting each other, and to provide for the common good of all. People want to live freely and happily.

I live in Canada, which is predominantly a culturally left-leaning “country”. But I somewhat identify myself with the left here because there’s some ideas that the majority of leftists support while I object. The most glaring of these is, of course, the monarchy. Almost all leftists in Canada either don’t care about it, are royalist by default, royalist by ignorance, or, like Pierre Trudeau, would want to merely hide it. Only a handful of leftists want Canada to become a republic, yet even here there’s troublesome members of this group. Unlike myself, I am not a communist, nor do I believe in conspiracy theories like Canadian Action Party members do. And finally, I am of the extreme minority, probably of six people who think that the reason a republic is better than a monarchy goes far beyond just fiscal benefits and chronological relevance.

While I agree with a vast majority of leftist ideas, I also equally despise the vast majority of Canadian leftists, majority of whom support monarchy in one way or another. We all know that monarchists aren’t that bright. The majority of leftists use the typical royalist excuses as justification to retaining what is inherently and manifestly undemocratic, unequal and unfree. Power in a monarchy, however powerless it may seem to be, is inherited by blood, regardless of public opinion, unlike a republic where power is earned by ballot, regardless of blood. However democratic or free a society may seem to be under a monarchy, it is not free enough because no one can be free to elect or be elected head of state of their own country. Monarchy is the very antithesis to the principals of the left in general, which are liberty and equality for all. The excuses to have a monarchy are vast and various, yet every single one of them is wrong, and all of them are so morally repugnant and outrageously ridiculous that the very stench of their absurdness outreeks even the most foul of stenches. Of course, then again, the vast majority of Canadians have merely experienced a constitutional monarchy and cannot envision anything else beyond it. Their ignorance of government systems is rather staggering, and gives the conservatives an edge against us because they exploit it and reinforce it. Plus they have money, a fundamental and necessary tool the left, alas, shuns and rejects.

Monarchy in a Nutshell

If Canadians wanted their own version of this photo, they’d replace the indigenous Africans with the indigenous North Americans.

I can’t believe Canadians, especially the young and foolish, went gaga over the royal wedding of this bastard. The media, government and Fascist Monarchist League all are responsible for that, of course, as well as Tom Freda’s ever failing gentle push against something that actually requires a truckload of C4 to remove.

No matter who’s on the throne, no matter how young he is, no matter if he rides a bike or wanted to invite the poor to his wedding . . . this is it. This is monarchy in a nutshell. The masses on the bottom serving those in power. This is also what Canadian monarchy is: an unelected whites-only position, with everyone else under their feet. This is what the enemies of democracy masturbate to, of the sight and act of domination and racial domination, and of yearning to not just be dominated, not just to have someone to rule over them for life, but to dominate and chain others.

This is what a monarchy is like, where the people are naked servants underneath those who think that it is their right to rule over others without their consent.

William’s racist romp looks very similar to this, doesn’t it:

Seriously, motherfucker, those two things attached to your pelvis down to the bone are called legs. Use them, you lazy spoiled little shit.

Freedom from Freda

How Tom Freda Failed the Republican Movement

Tom Freda established Citizens for a Canadian Republic in 2002, thirty-two-years too late after the Monarchist League of Canada was founded in 1970. From the start, Freda was attempting to reach out to republicans, but he was also trying to concentrate power into his own hands, perhaps due to harassment by members of the ML, as well as the Orange Order and other royalist, anti-democracy groups that have gained a stranglehold. So far, his accomplishments have been allowing the Canadian government to strengthen the monarchy since he’s mainly focused on the oath of citizenship, and because he is so intolerant to other voices and stronger fighters that he would even help the royalists by “purging” them from his group, exposing them who they are, and even labelled them as “extremists” and even “royalists.”

The Monarchist League, of course, has become one of the most influential political organizations in Canada, and its members include MPs and Senators and other holders of government office, provincially and nationally. The League was founded by Irish-born pedophile John Aimers, who wasn’t even born in Canada (yet likes to meddle in the affairs of other foreign powers as much as he does young boys) as an overreaction to Pierre Trudeau’s attempts to hide the monarchy very slowly (While some say Trudeau was a closeted republican, I say that he was muddled, and did a shitty job trying to establish Canada as a republic, if he was even actually trying). While there were only allegations of pedophilia made against Aimers during his tenure at Selwyn House School, he was never investigated, perhaps because of some meddling by his beloved League. Bribes? Intimidation? Influence peddling? No one knows, but then again, Canada has a history of letting pedophiles in power, alleged and real, get away with their crimes. Aimers is both a citizen of Canada and the United States, the latter of which happens to be a republic.

Yet despite Aimers’ colourful history and the control of the government from the local to provincial level, the republican movement has been dragging its ass due to the uncharismatic dictatorship leadership of Mr. Freda, whose lack of charisma may be due to his 30-year profession as a stock photographer and ten years as a technical writer, as he explains in his unfunny biography. Mr. Freda’s group has also held only few protests, yet stopped out of fear of attracting extremists and offending people, and has gone out of his way to emerge only when the monarchy comes into the view of the media. It seems that Mr. Freeda is more concerned about trying not to offend people than about being right. He is the self-appointed representative of all republicans, and denounces those who question, challenge or damn his leadership as a disgrace to the entire movement.

While there have been successful attempts at creating other groups, they suffered from the same stagnation and lack of motivation of its members and leadership as Freda’s organization, usually without a set goal.

You’re a disgrace, Freda. How far have we come? Harper restored the prefix of Royal to the Canadian army, navy and air force, and ordered the Queen’s portrait to be put up in all embassies of Canada, while you’re wasting time on a fucking oath. You’re so ashamed of your concept that you mush your words to hide your views.

The Monarchy + “Liberal” Royalists

Of all things, before all else, I must issue a sincere and heartfelt condemnation to royalists that identify themselves as leftists or liberals. There is nothing liberal or democratic about monarchy, whatever it has done or hasn’t done. Any person who calls themselves a leftist and a monarchist is like a black member of the Ku Klux Klan—an idiot undergoing an identity crisis. One can’t be the upholder of democratic ideals and of an inherently evil and unnecessary institution that is at the core of all the inconsistent whinings about imperialism and colonialism we Canadians have always attributed against the Americans. Republics can correct themselves while monarchies cannot and won’t. Royalists, whatever political stripe, either hate democracy or are too stupid or insane (in some cases both) to realize monarchy is an evil affront to democracy and will fight tooth and nail to prevent it. I also want to issue a goddamned slap in the face to all the cowards and cop-outs that conjure up all sorts of excuses to not end the damned institution and end it now. “Let’s wait til it passes; let’s wait til Prince Charles takes the throne.” Then what? Suppose nothing happens? Do we wait until he dies and his offspring or another relative of his assumes power after him? Such a stupid cop-out based on the assumption that we should just sit still and wait til the universe or our elected “representatives” entertain the idea of tackling the head of state, despite the constitutional risk. Speaking of the Constitution, no Canadian has read it, understood it or cared about it, and the wide majority of those who even heard about it are so stupid they don’t know what damned country they’re living in; some people (ordinary folk, the ones Canada’s left miserably fails to reach out to) even believe that the age of consent is eighteen when in fact it’s sixteen (for girls). Things of this importance must be tackled, even if it means having to go through the constitution, which is a bad document anyway, drafted up by London barristers and solicitors who have never been to Canada to begin with. If our constitution is such a headache that it can’t be touched or amended, even when absolutely necessary, then it is a bad constitution that Canada and her people don’t deserve or need, and along with the monarchy, must be abolished and replaced with a republican constitution that emphasizes on the universal values and foundations of freedom, equality, and unity. The current “constitution” (which is really the re-named British North America Act, thus it isn’t Canadian) that we, the dwellers of the British colonial outpost, live under is a total failure, as much of a failure as its fellow rag, the Charter, which doesn’t guarantee serious civil liberties since it’s more of a gesture by the powerful to the people to keep the petty rabble quiet as Canadian nobility, elected and unelected, sit on their hands and do nothing as usual, than a serious curb to government abuses. We think Canada is great because we imagine it is great, deluded by fantasies painted by our governments provincial and federal, and self-deluded, enticed by idiotic ramblings of a few obscure names that no one cares about, such as Wayne Gretzki or Farley Mowat. The Americans rightfully wrenched themselves free from the throngs of the British Empire—a once powerful land-hungry monster (as all empires were and are) that ruined and exploited the natives of their conquered land, including Canada—over more than just taxes (among the other ideas being the stupidity of a continent being governed by a mere island in Europe), and forged themselves an identity based on ideals that were universal, drawing from the ideas of the enlightenment. Canada stayed in the dark, damp safety of its mother’s basement, masturbating to Star Wars porn (which is an American film) while relishing in the problems its brother has to deal with on its own. This author is a proud Canadian but also a patriot, a Canadian separatist. It appreciates American ideas, American innovation, American spirit, but prefers to stay Canadian. How stupid are Canadian royalists and neutrals to assume that Canada would break-up and become part of the US the moment Canada becomes independent? Very stupid. We’re already in a similar position by being part of the Commonwealth of Nations, the skeletal remains of a dead empire. There’s all this horse-shit about sovereignty and independence while sharing the same head of state as other nations . . . the definition of an empire. The bottom line difference between a republican form of government and a monarchy is that the head of state is elected in a republic, and the head of state of a monarchy is not; executive power for the former is transferred by popular choice, regardless of blood or line of birth, and executive power for the latter is transferred by blood and line of birth, regardless of public input. The rest is commentary. Yet these “liberal” royalists and passive “republicans” (the former insanely clever, insane or both; the latter insanely stupid, insane or both) are part of the disease that has ruined, divided, weakened, impoverished and deluded Canada and Canadians (except people in Quebec, who see themselves as real Canadians) for almost 150, dragged into European wars and affairs to preserve and expand the British Empire. English Canadians view and treat all Francophones and Aboriginals as diseased trophies of conquest, and Francophones and Aboriginals regard Anglophones as oppressors. Now, the common stupid leftist will croak: “Regarding foreign wars, we didn’t enter Iraq!” True, but why then should we have a head of state of another country as Britain, which has troops in Iraq?! Why be associated with that? Is it not supreme commander of the armies of Britain and of Canada? Also, we’re in Afghanistan, and despite the horrors unleashed by the godless Taliban when they seized power in 1996, we went in after almost a decade but for a different reason, which hasn’t been found yet thanks to shifting priorities. Another ire that boggles the mind is that these same people, the “liberal” royalists and passive republicans and fence sitters, who claim they were horrified by the sights and action of the G20, where peaceful protesters, journalists and even ordinary people were violently assaulted, harassed, humiliated by Toronto police, the very same police that pussied-out when anarchists and political extremists trashed and rioted in the downtown core for almost two hours, attacking journalists, photographers, videographers, and ordinary people and trashed the windows of not just corporations but also of small businesses—small businesses, propped up by immigrants who came here to find a new place to live and stay—and torched police cars which, according to legend which stayed as a legend, would’ve caused the police to enact some sort of murderous vengeance against them, and other stupid shit, while a group of world leaders sat around for no reason only to make an unimportant statement . . . excused and dismissed the utter callousness and obliviousness to these horrors by the Old Hen and holder of that useless, undemocratic and un-Canadian sinecure who paid a visit minutes after yet another international event Canadians always embarrass themselves in, with a pageantry of mockery that consisted of visiting only a few provinces, opening a human rights museum, and then proclaiming that “Canada is an example of the world,” as “above politics” or “above the world,” without specifying jack-shit other than perhaps meaning she’s so superior that she’s above morality and human responsibility, which is horse-shit. These people, these disgusting utilitarians, like other moanarchists, think that certain human beings should be so above morality, so above irresponsibility solely based on power alone that they somehow have a “right” to do whatever they like, even tyrannical whenever madness, idiocy or cunning demands . . . such is the motto of tyrants and their supporters who suffer from Stockholm syndrome. “Liberal” royalists are just as stupid as other royalists and thus have no place in calling themselves “liberal” or “leftist.” These people who think that monarchy, an undemocratic and antidemocratic institution imposed on Canadians, is somehow in some bizarre compatible with democracy should set sail to England (and yes, let the smart-asses surge forth and attempt to correct me, I dare them damned bastards!) and stay there. Why be so far away from something they love so much?

And what of the rest of the left? Here we are, fighting for causes we can’t and don’t understand, that we assume the business of other nations should be our business while ignoring what happens here. Can we not start change at home first?

Help! We’re Being Oppressed!

Among the many heads of the dreaded royalist-fascist hydra, a new fear-based organization has quietly reared its ugly head. The English-Canadian Coalition is yet another far-right group of paranoid lunatics with a persecutory complex, and the delusion that somehow, for whatever reason, the English language is under attack. To make things worse, they tend to confuse an independent country with a colony, if you take notice of the crown in their logo, and the old Confederation flag. They even have a modified picture of Canada with Quebec and Nunavut are missing. These people clearly exist to advance the anti-democracy, anti-equality agenda of the Old Colonialists, who still believe in empire, obedience to authority, and the absence of democracy and civil rights. They’re probably American conservatives who want English as an official language of the United States trying to influence Canada, too, for whatever reason. But who knows.

Like Hitler, these bigots are deliberately appealing to the most basic of human instincts, impulses and prejudices; and in this new hate group’s case, they are appealing to the most bizarre and uniquely Canadian prejudices: language. Of course, like our anti-Americanism, this kind of bigotry is something we’ve inherited from our British masters.